I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
