So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
