I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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