please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
