Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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