rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize