I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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