By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
