What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize