So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
