Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
