im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
