my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
