My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
