I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize