my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
