Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
