I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
