Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
