We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
