I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
