Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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