Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize