I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
