How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
