first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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