Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
