All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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