Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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