i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
