Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
