Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
