now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
