Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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