Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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