you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
