he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
