I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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