I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this just has baby written all over it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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