i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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