The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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