I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
