I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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