fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
