Im at strip club and am horny
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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