It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
