Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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