it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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