im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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