Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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