The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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