i permit you to call me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You made out with two different species that night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
