Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
