When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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