I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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