You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
