what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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