I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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