When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Enjoy the penises
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
