thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
